


The Three Step Plan

by AsakikuQueen



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Arthur Kirkland - Freeform, Arthur catches feelings fast!, Arthur is problematic, AsaKiku - Freeform, Francis Bonnefoy - Freeform, Kiku Honda - Freeform, Kiku's an angel, Kinda gradual burn?, M/M, Mentioned America (Hetalia), Plot Warning!, Tags May Change, Wouldn't really say slow, could get darker, not sure where this is going, warning for late night writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-05 16:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15867054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsakikuQueen/pseuds/AsakikuQueen
Summary: Of three things Arthur was sure when he went to University:One: He would get through University with good grades.Two: He didn't need friends to achieve that.Three: He most certainly would not fall in love.Enter Kiku Honda.





	1. One

 

Of three things Arthur was sure when he went to University.

One: He would get through University with good grades.

Two: He didn't need friends to achieve that. In fact, they would only slow him down.

Three: He most certainly would not fall into the cliché of loving someone when he had work to do. He wasn't sure he ever would find time for such affections, and he was okay with that.

 

They were the rules he lived by. His mental plan. His friends were his textbooks and his love his studies, as his parents and life experience had taught him this over time. He wouldn't dare stray from his grades when there were expectations of him, traits and academic achievements he had to accomplish and uphold in front of his family.

It was this mindset that had gotten him through his GCSEs with all 9s, and then college with all A*s, and now to his first day at one of the most prestigious universities in the country.

So what if this approach to schooling meant he didn't have many friends? That was by choice, not because no one liked him. Well, no one did particularly like him, but you have to give up something for academic success, right? Not many people can get anywhere from going out partying most nights and having a great time with their friends. In fact, you are far less likely to be hired if your possible future boss sees such pictures online. Arthur knew the statistics, and he prided himself of being safe from such scrutiny and let downs at the hands of future employers.

He remembered Alfred, who had spent most of his school years bunking off, partying and getting by on dumb luck. That was, until his luck had finally ran out. The teachers who always went easy on his blatant rudeness towards them, disguised as petty jokes, started to grow exasperated with the egotistical boy. A common theme appearing in reports being the line; ‘Has problems with authority.’ Mr Jones was not happy about that, and seeing as Mr Jones was an authority figure in Alfred’s life, there was a lot of fighting in the Jones family. From there it progressed. It was finally exploited that Alfred’s eccentric actions and pushy nature didn’t stop at harmless parties and a few jokes gone a bit far. It was finally shown that Alfred could be dangerous. Suddenly his strength that all the girls had admired on the sport teams and the boys had envied, became something people were wary and frightened of. His reputation was ruined and it didn’t end there. Alfred had been kicked out of college and the last Arthur heard of him, was working in a local grocery store. He had been studying for law to get into a prestigious Uni, and now didn't have a single A-Level or shred of experience under his belt.

Arthur had no intention of ending up like the American boy who had constantly bothered him at school. He stayed as far from the store as he was able, and couldn’t quite suppress the shudder that ran through him at the mention or sight of the other boy. ‘Bother’ was what the teachers had called what Alfred had subjected him to throughout their school years. ‘Harassment’ would have still been a massive understatement.

Arthur used to have friends, even used to care for such things. Alfred had put a stop to that. Books were all he needed for company now. Other people just weren’t _safe_.

So, on a rainy day of August, Arthur had hugged his mother goodbye (“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Arthur?) and given his father a firm handshake, with promises of success stinging his lips. His brothers had all given him the expected false smiles and bone crushing grips, with devilish grins adorning their faces. The only one to give him a truly warm parting was Alistair, who had softly smiled at him and gently pressed a small and worn toy into his palm. A small green bunny, with wings wonkily sewn onto the back. It was a memento from a young Arthur and Alistair’s first project together. It was rather mediocre and nowhere near the standard Arthur would even think and acceptable finished product was he to make the small creature now. Arthur was too old for such a thing, and he had said so, yet it didn't stop him from tucking it protectively against his chest and placing it lovingly into his pocket. Alistair had rolled his eyes so hard they could have bled.

The building that Arthur arrived at was far from grand, yet held a charm not many colleges had. There were two separate buildings, for different subject types, yet the buildings seemed relatively small in comparison to the gardens. There grew a variety of different flowers, and clumps of roses which Arthur was quite partial to. He took his first steps up the dirt path and was immediately ushered to the meeting hall by the higher year students.

“Hello to all our new students,” The principle had said, “We have gathered here to welcome you and inform you of a couple of changes this year.” Some murmurs of confusion started and the principle hurriedly cleared his throat before they got out of hand. “As you already know, because of the success of last year there will be more shared rooms among students. If you are sharing you should already have been informed. There will also be some widening participation courses which will be mandatory.” The words filled Arthur with a bitter dread, remembering rainy P.E. classes and the social embarrassment associated with them. “This is to reinforce the social relationships between students from different subjects or dorms, and to form a more integrated community here.” There came Arthurs other hated necessity, socializing. The headmaster droned on for another while before finally concluding his speech. “Now, all students that know where they’re going may go on to their dorms, or the break halls, for twenty minutes to drop their things before heading back here for the tour. Anyone with questions or concerns may come to the front to speak to me or one of the guidance councilors.”

Arthur hurriedly picked up his bags and, keeping his head down, made his way to the building listed on his letter. It was relatively easy to find the room he would be staying in, and he found it was small but neat. That was all completely fine, the thing which immediately caught Arthurs attention was that there were two beds in the room. Arthur had specifically requested a single room, and the University had assured him that would be provided considering the grades he could bring them by attending, along with the extra money he offered on top of the already hefty sum for the arrangement. There were not many single rooms on this campus after all, as whilst the Uni was one of the best, most of the money went into the classroom, product and staff arrangements. The type of students that typically went here were the type that could be flown in on a private helicopter if it were so necessary, which meant living arrangements wasn’t this colleges highest necessity. He had gotten one of the few available, making sure he panned in advance to ensure the place was his.

He immediately left and started heading to the front desk, tapping his foot impatiently when he got there. A woman with graying blonde hair and kindly blue eyes greeted him.

“Hello, is there anything I can help you with?” She asked robotically with a plastic smile, surely having done this many times before.

“Yes,” Arthur said with a jerky nod, “I was informed I would not be sharing a room with any other students, yet unfortunately I must have gotten the wrong room number, as there were two beds in the room I entered.”

The woman frowned in false concern, before returning to her computer and typing at the keyboard for a few moments. “Name, please?”

“Arthur Kirkland.” A few more seconds passed, disturbed only by the ding of the door bell as another student shuffled in. Arthur glanced over passively, noting the boy being quite small and having a hunched figure, shoulders right up to his ears. A peculiar haircut meant that his dark fringe could easily cover his eyes when he kept his head down like that. His clothes, strangely formal for a non-uniform policy, seemed slightly too big for him, and Arthur wondered if they were handed down. Though it puzzled him why someone going to such a school would need second hand clothing.

He was pulled out of his musing by the woman clearing her throat. “Ah, Mr Kirkland, it would seem that your room plans had to change temporarily. You see, we had a last minute acceptance of a foreign exchange student a few days ago. You will be rooming with him.”

All thoughts gone of the strange boy who had just walked in, Arthur leant across the desk, disbelief and irritation evident in his manner. “This isn’t what the University had assured me upon coming here! They said that any rooms I was in would be completely my own.”

“I am very sorry, Mr Kirkland. I assure you that the change is temporary. Once a place has opened up for the new student, I’m sure that you could request a move?”

“Are there really no other rooms he could possibly go to?” Arthur asked, now slightly desperate. He could feel phantom panic set into his bones and his hands wouldn’t stop their incessant shaking. He couldn’t room with someone, not someone he didn’t even know. They should know this. His father had informed them of his... history.  “I really, really can’t share with someone.” When she shook her head, looking at a loss of what to do, he felt the panic begin to rise. He slammed his hand on the desk in an uncharacteristic display of anger. “Then is there a fucking closet to sleep in? A back room? A teacher’s lounge?” He spat, knowing that if he had to he would take a cupboard immediately.

As the woman stuttered a reply, the shocked student behind him tried to interject. “Excuse me,” he meekly asked, and Arthur whipped round.

“Please wait your turn, I’ll be done in just a moment, I’m sure,” He snarled with a clipped and sharp tone, sending a glare to the woman as she hurried back to her computer to make some calls. His eyes honed back on the small student in front of him as though he was prey, and said student looked so utterly startled and apologetic that he softened slightly. Guilt finally began to filter in for him once he realized what he had done. He sighed and ran a hand through his unruly hair. “Look,” he began, “I’m sorry for being... harsh.” He looked back at the lady, who had now looked over with widened eyes, “To you as well miss. I just... don’t handle new people well,” he finished lamely.

The woman offered him a curt nod and went back to her calls, whilst the new kid gave him a small yet hesitant smile. “It’s okay. First day of Uni stress, right?” He asked gently, giving Arthur an easy way out. Arthur thanked the stars for the kindness of this boy.

“Ah, right, yes.” He agreed, and held out his hand to shake, “Arthur Kirkland, as you may have heard. You are?”

The boy took his hand, and though his grip wasn’t the strong and confident front Arthur had learnt from his family, his hand gently moved theirs and Arthur was surprised by the softness of his skin. “Kiku Honda, exchange student from Japan.” The boy looked up and Arthur finally got a good look at large brown eyes, a small nose on a pointed chin and lips curved shyly upwards. Kiku was strangely pretty, and it made Arthurs own eyes widen slightly. “That’s actually why I interrupted earlier. I believe that was me that you were talking about.”

Well, shit. Talk about bad first impressions. Arthur immediately stilled and his hand went slack at his side. He stared at Kiku, uncomprehending and trying to process his words under a thick layer of mortification.

“I meant no offense,” He whispered, and swore he could see the lady from earlier cover a shocked smile and scowled to himself. Kiku, however, just raised his eyebrows slightly, as though he was shocked and amused by the apology. He looked ever so slightly like he wanted to laugh.

“No need to apologize!” He affirmed calmly, “I just wanted to say that if it truly makes you uncomfortable, I would be okay with sleeping somewhere else. Like a sofa in the lobby or something? I really don’t want to impose and I know I joined very last minute. I have been very lucky and do not want to take away the promises this school has made for you.” Kiku twiddled his fingers and his feet shifted anxiously beneath him. He had gone back to looking up at Arthur through his dark eyelashes and Arthur could only stand there dumbly. How could someone just... offer that?

“No!” He suddenly said, and Kiku jumped a bit. “I mean, I’m the one who has the problem with it, you shouldn’t suffer for that. It’s not you! I’m just... I don’t get along with people very well. I believe I would rather infuriate you if we got to know each other.”

Kiku raised an eyebrow, a little confidence instilled in him at the assurance that Arthur probably wasn’t about to bite his head off at that moment. “I assure you, Mr Kirkland, that I am a difficult man to anger.”

Arthur wasn’t sure what to say to that, and was saved from answering by the woman interjecting. “I’m afraid, Mr Kirkland, that there is no other part of the school available to students to set up. It’s not a matter of rules so much as it is a matter of safety.”

There was a pause, a minute of silence as both the woman and Kiku looked to Arthur’s warring expressions, trying to see which would win out before he gave a weary sigh. Kiku thought that Arthur looked suddenly all too tired. “Okay,” He finally muttered, no more than a resigned breath ghosting over his lips. He straightened and gave Kiku a final assessing look. Kiku straightened up under the piercing gaze, having the odd feeling of needing to meet Arthur’s standards. “Okay,” Arthur said again, and Kiku got the sense that he was more assuring himself than speaking to anyone else present. Arthur slightly uncomfortably stared at him a small while longer. Kiku didn’t seem dangerous, but he had made that mistake before.

_Sunshine smiles and a too wide grin._

He flinched and Kiku frowned, his hands twitching to reach for him. Arthur pulled his thoughts back to himself and shakily grinned at Kiku. “Shall I show you to the room?” He asked, “Or do you still need to talk to the helpdesk?”

Kiku shook his head, “No, I was just checking where to go actually. I was assigned here too late to be given the information.”

Arthur smiled, and this time it was slightly less sharp, more genuine. “I would be happy to escort you,” He said.

They walked in relative silence to the room. Though it was not largely uncomfortable, there was still a soft wave of tension washing over them as they walked, each a little too stiff in their movements. When they got to the door, Arthur fumbled with his key for a moment before opening it. Kiku’s eyes widened.

“It’s... quite big isn’t it?” He said, seemingly in awe.

Arthur frowned, confused. He looked around the room, which was certainly not what he would call large to any extent for one person, let alone two. He didn’t comment though. He was already starting to get the impression that Kiku may not be as well off as most people who came here. That would have meant that he would have gotten in purely for his grades, which Arthur could appreciate more than someone’s rich parents buying them a place.

“Arthur?” A voice called, and Arthur felt his whole body douse in cold. Speaking of people who relied on their dear daddy’s money to get in. He hadn’t spoken to the boy in years, not since he had signed into an online school programme and completed his studies there.  “Arthur, mon Dieu! Is that really you?” Arthur turned slowly in the doorway to find a boy with entirely too blonde hair and too bright blue eyes come walking towards him. There was an effortless swagger in his walk, and a self confidence Arthur would shudder to admit he was envious of.

“Francis,” He greeted with a tight smile, attempting to be pleasant despite the fact he could fell Kiku’s silent stare over his shoulder. He knew why Francis was so eager to talk to him, and he didn’t hold onto any illusions of warmth in this conversation. “A pleasure to see you again.”

“God, I haven’t seen you since you just... stopped going to school.” Francis laughed, a strange and mildly irritating sound to Arthur’s ears, yet clearly not to the girls Francis regularly had hanging from his arm. “There were some rumors, you know?” He said with a wink, rather flamboyantly resting a manicured hand on the curve of his hip. “Some of them not very nice.”

He wanted to know why he had dropped out. There had been rumors. People had been talking about him. He hadn’t been there. There could have been lies, so many lies, but what’s worse.

It could have been the truth.

Suddenly, Arthur felt as though he couldn’t breathe. A block was in his throat. Wet leaves sticking and clogging where air should run and words should form. A cold hand wrapped firmly in place. He distantly realized he was shaking.

“Arthur? Are you well?” He could distantly hear Francis voice, register a concerned face peering at him. “You’re completely white, and you’re shaking.” _Thanks a lot Francis_ , thought Arthur bitterly, _I really wasn’t aware._

 Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder, and his head whipped around to see the confused eyes of Kiku looking back at him worriedly. Arthur almost wanted to laugh hysterically and desperately at the realisation that a kid he had known for all of five minutes already had reason to worry for him. He took a deep breath and swallowed. Clear the passage, clear the block, and continue. Kiku’s hand grounded him to reality, a steady, unmoving presence.

He turned back to Francis and his smile now was completely venomous. Francis looked completely shocked, and a little disturbed. “You were saying about some rumors?” He asked, tongue as sharp as a razor and tone clipped.

Francis stuttered over his answer. “I was just surprised to see you here, after everything. I mean, you dropped so late in the year and so suddenly.”

“I was not getting along with the other students,” Arthur said plainly.

“But, you never did, did you?” Confusion was written clear on Francis face, and for some bizarre reason Arthur couldn’t place, hurt. “You never got along with people, but you never dropped out either! There wasn’t a word to anyone, no way to contact you!” He paused a moment before looking into Arthur’s eyes. “You didn’t even say goodbye to me.”

Arthur frowned and his eyebrows drew together. He stared long and hard at Francis. “I... don’t understand.” He said, slowly. Francis and he had been in two completely different circles at school. Even back then, when Arthur cared about having companionship, they had been in completely different worlds. Arthur had only two friends during his time at school, and they had both been social outcasts like him. It worked, but he was sure there wasn’t exactly a strong bond beyond common interests that he shared with them. Francis, on the other hand, had friends wherever he went. They could never fit together neatly and effortlessly, they would argue constantly, they were from different versions of the same reality.

Francis gave a truly sour laugh, and he eyed Arthur with little of the softness in his expression a few minutes ago. “No. You wouldn’t, would you?” He looked as though he was about to stalk off.

“Francis!” Arthur called, and he wasn’t exactly sure why. Either way, Francis stopped, figure unnaturally tight. Arthur sighed. As much as Francis could annoy him at times he had to admit that some of the rare time they had spent together had almost been... fun. He hadn’t had fun or laughed with many people the way he had with Francis on the rare times they weren’t arguing. He hadn’t meant to hurt him. “I’m sorry. I had broken my phone, and it took a while to get it replaced. The number was changed. Still, I should have gotten in contact to say goodbye.”

There was silence, a desperate tension thick in the air, and Francis looked into Arthur’s eyes properly for the first time. The shadow in them was something Arthur didn’t recognise. He had seen fire, and mirth, but not this. When Francis spoke, his voice was strained, “I realized I didn’t know where you lived. We had only ever been to my house. No one else knew either.” His voice was smaller than Arthur had ever heard it. He turned and Arthur looked at him sadly, processing that Francis wanted to come and look for him. He wouldn’t have been able to ask the right people. Francis was the only one who had ever invited him over, even including his group of not-quite friends.

“I don’t have friends, Francis.” He replied, and was rewarded with a puzzled look.

“You had me.”

That made Arthur pause. He had thought their relationship had been based more on less-than-friendly companionship more than actual friendship. Though, perhaps Francis hadn’t thought the same. Arthur wasn’t well versed in relationships, though a friendship with Francis didn’t sound awful. He had probably ruined any chance of that now though.

“What were the rumors?” He quietly asked, and Francis raised an eyebrow.

“That you were too good for that school, too pretentious, that you’d been bullied out. That sort of thing.” He said it plainly, yet it was still a question.

He didn’t know what to say. Any answer he gave, would it be enough? The words were a whisper that pushed past his lips weakly, “That’s... I liked that school.”

Confusion marred Francis attractive visage, “Then why did you leave?” Arthur looked down at his feet helplessly, as though the answer would be written out on the floor for him to give. It was not. “Can you tell me?” Francis prompted.

The strangest thing was, Arthur found that he wanted to so, so badly. He was desperate to open up to Francis, to yell out _‘Yes! Yes I’ll tell you, just please don’t think badly of me.’_ What ended up coming out of his mouth instead was a soft “No.”

Francis looked at him long and hard before he gave a defeated sigh.

“Goodbye Arthur. Happy start to University.”

He walked away.

A year and a half of silence and distance and he walked away. Just like Arthur had done. He hated to admit that it ached.

This day had already been a disaster.

“Arthur?” A tentative voice called out, pulling him back to reality. He looked around sharply and was horrified to note that he felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and his throat was clogged up. He blinked rapidly and cleared his throat. This was mortifying, and quite possibly the worst first impression he’s ever made. Kiku is smiling at him gently though, and he doesn’t know what to think of that. “Would you like to have a look around the building together? Or if you’d like to stay in the room, I’m thinking of unpacking.”

It was strange how this boy seemed to believe they were going to do things together because they had known each other all of 15 minutes. It was even more shocking that he would want to, seeing how awful these last 15 minutes have been for an impression. It took a moment to answer. “I... well I suppose I should really be unpacking.” He tried to smile, but it felt tight and unnatural on his features. Kiku’s seemed to soften further in return regardless, and oddly he led Arthur back into the room and closed the door behind them.

They were halfway through unpacking and Arthur was still dissecting every point of the conversation with Francis, trying to pick out everything he could from it. He hadn’t realised that he had stopped moving until Kiku again prompted him, “Would you like to talk about it?” He whipped his head round to stare wide eyed at him, shocked out of his reverie and for a moment in uncomprehending silence. Kiku quickly backtracked, “I mean, of course you don’t have to if you don’t want! I don’t mean to intrude; it’s just that it sometimes helps me to talk to people about my problems.”

“No, no it’s fine,” Arthur slowly reassured, drawing out his words carefully. He bit at his chapped lips, a bad habit he had developed over the last couple years. “What did you want me to talk about?”

“Well, what’s bothering you?” Oh, such a simple questions, but thousands of possible answers. So much more complicated than it needed to be.

Kiku sat down on the bed and Arthur immediately felt the whole of Kiku’s focus on him. It felt quite nice. An unfamiliar feeling, but nice nevertheless. Regardless, he squirmed a little under the calm and steady gaze. He did have one question, though it took a little courage to ask it. “Do you think he was angry at me?” He had never been good with emotions, and he was insecure about admitting this to people who were sure to judge. It wasn’t that he was self centred or trying to annoy, he just sometimes didn’t pick up on some of the intricacies of human interaction. His brother had always laughed and said it was because he ‘wasn’t quite there in the head.’

Kiku hadn’t replied yet. Instead he was regarding him curiously, as though Arthur was an especially difficult puzzle he was intent on cracking, and Arthur felt the need to look away but refused the impulse. Finally Kiku gave a small sigh, “I think he was upset,” he began. “Being upset and angry can be very similar though.” At Arthurs frown, he continued. “I can’t give my opinion Arthur, not really. I don’t know the situation. I think though, people can only be angry and upset at someone if they _really_ care about them. I think it would be worse if he hadn’t acted that way. He wouldn’t have cared then.”

Arthur’s breath stuttered, “Oh... does that mean he’ll forgive me?”

Kiku gave him a pained look, “You cannot possibly expect me to have an answer to that, Arthur. For your sake, I hope so.”

“You... seem quite good socially though.”

Kiku gave a soft laugh, and Arthur fond that he really quite liked the sound, “Doesn’t mean I’m a mind-reader Arthur,” Kiku joked. “Don’t take anything I say too seriously, as I’ve said before, I don’t know the situation.”

Arthur nodded, mind slightly put at ease by Kiku’s comforting words. He looked at Kiku who seemed to wait a moment, nod to him and then stand up to continue packing. He was probably the best Arthur could ever hope for in a roommate. It struck him that although this wasn’t ideal, he was extremely lucky to be roomed with someone like Kiku, who had already shown him such understanding and kindness.

Arthur stood to unpack the rest of his things too, and didn’t notice the small plush animal slip out of his pocket. It was only after finishing when he heard a soft “Oh, is this yours?” and turned to see Kiku standing in the middle of the room cupping the small animal like it was the most precious thing in the world. Arthur immediately turned a vibrant red and snatched it out of Kiku’s hands, clutching it to his chest and the smile faded from Kiku’s face. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise I wasn’t meant to...” He trailed off as though he was not quite sure exactly what it was he ‘wasn’t meant to’ do.

“I, uh,” Arthur looked down to hide the red of his face and mumbled, “Sorry, it’s...” God, he didn’t even know how to explain why he was suddenly so defensive and protective of such a crappy piece of fabric.

“It’s okay Arthur, I think I understand.” Kiku walked over to his case and took the final item out, a prettily designed plush bear. He held it out to Arthur and after tucking the bunny into his pocket he tentatively reached out for it. The dolls fabric was obviously quite special, and it was made with precision and care. It seemed handmade, but much better put together. It would have been a grand children’s toy in its prime, yet the fabric was worn thin in some areas and lightly greyed in others. The ear was a little scrunched and crisp, leading Arthur to assume perhaps it had been chewed at some point which was... a little gross. This doll had been made with love, and loved in the same degree. “It was my mothers,” Kiku cut in with an entirely fond smile directed at the doll, “Well, she made it for me, but I still see it as hers. I’m just looking after it for her.”

“It’s... It’s lovely Kiku.” Arthur stared at the doll as though it held all the secrets of this sweet, bizarre boy across from him. A boy who only seemed too kind for such a world, and too indulgent of Arthur’s horrendous social letdowns. As though passed the seams he would find the centre of this boy’s compassion, the stuffing held the every present calm and warmth he exceeded and in the carefully sewn eyes and small smile he would find the reason for his care.

“If you want to keep the toy out I understand Arthur. It would be very hypocritical of me to judge.”

“Thank you Kiku,” He said softly, handing the doll back. It was both a thanks for sharing and for the offer. “I’ll think about it when you’re around, but if anyone else were to come by I think it would go in the draw.”

“Well, I’m glad you can be comfortable with me,” He kindly said. There was a pause of entirely unfamiliar companionable silence between them. “Would you like to nap or go round the premises?”

Honestly, Arthur was rather tired after the trip and the stressful last few hours. Finding out he would have a roommate, meeting Francis and the rest of the social interaction he had had to endure the last while had left him in a mix of emotions he wasn’t altogether sure how to deal with. However, if he didn’t go now he had the chance of getting lost tomorrow and making it late to his first class. He also realised no matter how tired he was he wasn’t sure he would be able to sleep now. He looked at Kiku and wondered for a moment if he could sense his need to be doing something.  

Spending more time with Kiku didn’t seem nearly as daunting as it may have been were he told to go with a relative stranger a few hours ago.

“Yes,” He said with a marginally more genuine smile, “I think I would like that.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent walking the premises going to the different sectors for their different classes. It turned out Kiku was studying science whilst Arthur was studying English. Kiku had admitted that he was surprised Arthur wasn’t doing something strictly academic, and Arthur explained he was much better communicating through characters and written word than in real life. Kiku gave him an almost fond look at that, which Arthur thought of as rather odd.

The time past surprisingly fast and Arthur found himself sad by the time he realised how dark the gardens had gotten as they sat on one of the outside benches. It had been silent for a few minutes, though through the evening he had felt like he had gotten to know Kiku Honda better. He had a brilliant mind and an even more brilliant heart. He’s Japanese, yet lived with his Chinese Uncle after his mother died and his father stopped being able to look after him. He moved around quite a lot but eventually is flighty new family settled in England. Kiku seemed like he would be a shy person, but his was deceiving. He was purely soft spoken, so Arthur could imagine him being overridden in a crowd, yet when you had his company to yourself it was the most valuable thing you could ever own, if only temporary. Arthur talked about his family and expectations, his ambition that he at times didn’t know what he wanted to do with. He talked of his hobbies after a little prompting, things which he had been told were too feminine, but whilst Kiku seemed mildly surprised by them, he also seemed impressed. He talked a little about College before shutting down, and Kiku skilfully steered the subject away.

Arthur had never felt that he had connected to someone as quickly and easily as he had with Kiku. That’s the thing – for the first time in Arthur’s life he was interacting with someone and it was easy. Kiku radiated calm and reassured him when he worried about saying the wrong thing. When he phrased something weirdly and it came off as rude Kiku just chuckled quietly, and seemed to understand him in a way that no one else ever had. He got Arthur, and Arthur had always subconsciously craved someone who understood him. He hadn’t every realised how much he needed this until this night, where it felt as though a large gaping wound had opened and suddenly he realised how much being locked inside his house had hurt him. How incredibly lonely he had been. It was like a festering wound he had tried to ignore had finally been treated, ripped open and hurting, but it finally had a chance to heal.

He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry.

At night as they lay in their beds, they quietly talked, whispers dancing across the plane of space stretching between each other. Close enough that if they were to reach out their fingers would brush, yet far enough that some of the words were lost in the air, drifting unheard but a presence between them. They fell asleep like that, murmured words and small giggles on their lips, for all the tinkling muffled laugher could be classified as was a giggle. Just before Kiku finally drifted off to sleep a small mumble escaped his lips, something Arthur wouldn’t have caught were he not on the brink between consciousness and sleep, balancing on the edge.

“I’m really glad I met you Arthur.”

With that, Arthur succumbed to sleep with a smile on his face for the first time in over a year.

 

Of three things Arthur was sure at the end of his first day at Uni:

One: He would get through University with good grades.

Two: He would not fall in love with anyone.

Three: He has a friend called Kiku Honda.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It started fluffy... how did it come to this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes and that this one's a little shorter. I'll go over it later. xxx

Of three things Arthur was sure the night before his first day of lessons at Uni:

One: He would get through University with good grades.

Two: He would not fall in love with anyone.

Three: He has a friend called Kiku Honda.

 

It had been two days since settling in, and the weekend had past in a blur of preparation. Kiku had made a few attempts to gently coax Arthur to take walks with him, explore the area, anything that would get him out of the room and to stop “needlessly worrying”.  Arthur stated that he couldn’t help it, that he couldn’t settle the steady thrum of panic settling like an unwelcome visitor in the core of his body. It felt as though his fingers had the desperate need to tap against any nearby object when not occupied and proactive, his knee bobbing up and down in a nervous dance with the floor, his eyes looking around as if there was something, somewhere, that was so very wrong. 

Kiku finally sighed and quietly left the room. It was that moment that Arthur realised that Kiku had not left all weekend, despite the numerous offers he had made Arthur to do so. Suddenly a spike of panic went up Arthur’s spine, _what did this mean? Was he coming back? How late would he come back? Would he make any new friends while out? Friends better than his weird roommate...._

Arthur sat, rocking gently against the frame of his bed and imagining worst-case scenarios which would ruin their tentative friendship. He didn’t realise only ten minutes had gone past, (In which time he had managed to steal all of the pillows Kiku had stacked his bed with to build his fortress of comfortude), when he heard the door open once more and his head whipped up to stare at Kiku with slightly widened eyes. Kiku, nursing a couple cups of tea, noticed this and gave him an amused look whilst plopping down gently next to the mound of cushions and duvet that was currently the once dignified Arthur Kirkland, placing the cups on a nearby table. It was atrocious, utterly abysmal behaviour, not befitting of a Kirkland.

But... It was also really warm and comfy.

Kiku huffed a little laugh at the eyes peering out from a gap in the duvets Arthur had stacked on each other (of course he had to steal Kiku’s as well!). He leaned in conspiratorially, but kept a respectable personal space Arthur was grateful for. “I think I know the secret password,” Kiku teased playfully, with soft mirth in his eyes. Arthur narrowed his own in return and scoffed. “Is it...” Kiku began, taking immense joy in seeing Arthur’s gaze flick to him curiously before looking away whilst he drew out the syllables. Arthur could have sworn Kiku was using a slight sing song tone on purpose to patronise him. Kiku was currently making a show of brainstorming, putting the best thinking face on he could muster. “Bunny?” he guessed, and was only faced with a confused frown.

There was a few seconds of silence and then a curious, “...No?” It sounded almost more like a question than an answer, and his voice was rough and croaky from disuse. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Kiku.

“Arthur, you do know the first rule about pillow forts don’t you?” He asked curiously.

The voice that answered was shocked, “There are rules about how to build pillow forts?”

“Of course there are!” Kiku said, a small smile gracing his face at how Arthur was looking at him with wonder, as though Kiku were the most knowledgeable being in the universe at that moment. Suddenly, one pillow wall was knocked down, and trying not to sputter at the sudden mini avalanche that followed, Kiku came face to face with Arthur.

He had a bed-head worthy of a medal, sleep deprived shadows underneath his eyes, a slightly manic look about him, and he was clutching a pillow as though it was a lifeline, blissfully unaware of a feather caught up in the blonde haystack on his head. Kiku suppressed a giggle as he carefully picked it off Arthurs head and watched his nose scrunch adorably.

Suddenly, there were cold slim fingers entwined with his own, and Arthur was staring at him intently. “Teach me,” he said in a tone that would indicate that Kiku were teaching him the dark arts and not the etiquette of how to build a pillow fort. Kiku wasn’t sure how he felt being the complete focus of someone’s attention, but he had come to find that he enjoyed the awkward company of his extremely unusual roommate. Kiku had found in life that many people he encountered were rather bland and similar. In turn these people thought Kiku boring for not speaking much, when in actuality he just never had the chance. People and Kiku got along, but thought of each other in the same frame of mind, this being ‘nice but nothing special.’

Arthur was odd, and intelligent, and sometimes seemed a little loose in the head, but he was never boring. Frustrating, perhaps, but not ever dull. Right now Kiku had finally found the distraction from a combination of work and meaningless activities that Arthur had desperately delved into. Pillow forts.

So he did something he had not done in his memory. He leant forward and took the lead.

Pulling Arthur out of the crumpled fort pile with their still entwined hands, Kiku lifted a mattress off a bed. He handed it to Arthur, who looked bewildered. “This one’s yours. Please lean it against that wall over there, Arthur,” he said with a smile. Arthur went to do as he said, but had a look of worry creasing his brows.

“Kiku, why do we need this?” He asked, carefully positioning the mattress against the wall at exactly the wrong angle. Kiku sighed softly, and walked over to help correct him.

“What you made was more of a... pillow puddle. If we’re going to make a fort we’ll need a foundation. It has to fit two people after all!” He paused as he stopped to think, “Arthur have you made a pillow fort before?” Arthur shook his head, and looked like he was going to give an explanation before stopping short and shrugging. Kiku found himself wanting to chuckle at how clueless Arthur could be sometimes, and gently placed his hand on the boys shoulder. “Well, there’s no time like the present.”

Kiku directed, and Arthur got around half the directions right the first time. The fort ended up wonky and lopsided, a little over packed on one side and not enough on another. There was a distinct lack of pillows left for the floor for comfortably sitting, even with the ones Kiku and Arthur had bought to the campus themselves when they moved in.

Kiku grinned for the first time in an age.

The fort was absolutely perfect.

He looked over at Arthur and for a moment the grin dropped off his face at the intensity Arthur was looking their fort over with. He only noticed he had been tense when a smile broke open on Arthurs face and he turned two energised and lively eyes to Kiku. Kiku felt his heart flutter suddenly, an odd and unfamiliar feeling, and shared in the smile

Matching smiles for the mismatching roommates.

“So,” Kiku said, his smile now bordering a smirk and spreading wider, “Shall we go in?”

The doorway was a blanket which didn’t cover the entrance very well, and fell off as soon as they entered anyway, causing them to start to giggle in the tight space, then break down into fits of laughter. Arthur had never felt so light. He looked towards Kiku, whose face was scrunched with mirth, his hand up in a vain attempt to hide his face, which was beginning to pink. He felt something strange and gentle writhe in his stomach. Something light and billowy take flight in his chest at the same moment as constricting it. He felt confusion begin to filter in for a moment, before putting the peculiar feeling aside to assess later. “So what do we do now?”

“Now we name it,” Kiku responded. Arthur hummed, delighted that the childish game was not yet over.

“Any ideas?” He asked hopefully, and watched as Kiku contemplated the question.

“Well, usually as Kids everyone would combine their names to make the fort name, but I’m not sure ours fit together so well...” He trailed off with a frown, and Arthur was struck by the sudden feeling of disappointment at their names not fitting together well. Suddenly, Kiku started laughing and Arthur had started wondering if he had gone mad when he wheezed out “Kikthur!” and suddenly they were both laughing again.

They quietened and there was a silence between them. “It’s so dumb,” Arthur commented, “I hate it.” Kiku readily agreed whilst contemplating other options until finally something came to mind.

“You know,” he said, “Your name would be pronounced differently in Japanese...”

Arthurs head whipped around, “Really? How so?”

“Well, it would be pronounced something like ‘aasa’.” Arthur’s eyebrows creased as he moved his lips to mimic the sound. Suddenly he perked up.

“Wait! That could work – Asakiku!” They shared matching grins, and spent the rest of the evening cradling their now cold cups of tea, and Kiku finally got Arthur to talk out his worries about the first day. It was a perfect setting.

They ended up falling asleep inside the fort, with limbs lightly touching, not quite entangled, but grazing each other in light feather touches.

It was that night Arthur suffered his first nightmare in the company of Kiku Honda.

 

_The room was stifling, too many people moving their bodies in much too tight a space. He couldn’t see Francis anywhere. Where was Francis? Shouldn’t he be here?_

_He knew he shouldn’t have come._

_There’s noise everywhere, from each corner of the room, and it is suffocating. Arthur looked down at his hand and noticed he was holding a cup of... something. He felt weird. He wondered how much he had to drink, and thought with confusion that he hadn’t had very much, not enough to feel like this._

_He had to find Francis. Francis would know what to do._

_Where was Francis?_

_He stumbled, and his feet were the only thing he focussed on. He kept walking until he made it outside. He was at the back of the house, everyone else was around the front._

_Arthur glanced back cautiously at the noise and the light and the mayhem. He didn’t want to go back._

_He needed Francis._

_Why did he need Francis?_

_Where was Francis?_

_He could figure this out. Where did he need to be?_

_Where was he? Where was he going?_

_He looked back at the party and his brain sluggishly supplied_ **‘NO.’** _He looked towards the trees that lined some of the property. There was a path along the back fence that led to the main road. From there he could get home._

_Home._ **‘YES.’**

_Where was Francis?_

_He walked towards the tree line where he knew the fence was. He would go round to the main road. Francis phone must be out of power. Why was he looking for Francis?_

_He got to the fence and for some reason the world span and he felt the wrong way up, he felt sick._

**‘FIND FRANCIS.’**

_Find Francis._

_Yes, good plan. Francis will be easier to find from the main road._

_He opened the gate and stepped past it. He began to walk down the path but didn’t get far before-_

_“Arthur!”_

 

“Arthur you need to wake up now!” Arthur finally stopped thrashing to look up into the scared eyes of his roommate. He scrambled in his attempt to get Kiku away from him and Kiku immediately backed off as Arthur stood shaking and trying not to heave. He could distantly feel tears on his cheeks. “Hey,” Kiku whispered, voice shaky with fear and concern, “Hey, you’re okay. It’s just me.”

Arthur stared at him for a moment as his brain comprehended who he was with. “I...” He looked around the room, at the messy floor of the ruined fort, to Kiku’s obvious nervous desire to make sure he was okay, to walk over and check. Arthur was immensely grateful for his restraint. “I need to go.” He bundled up a blanket and grabbed a pillow before heading to the door.

“Arthur wait!” Kiku said, shocked at the sudden departure.

“I’m sorry Kiku, I just need to be alone right now.” Distantly a part of Arthur cringed at the fact he was starting to sound like a leading female role in a badly written teen drama. “I’m going to find somewhere else to go.”

“I’ll go then! Please stay in the room,” Kiku reasoned, desperate to do something. But Arthur had already left, slamming the door behind him and Kiku heard Arthur’s feet barrelling down the hall corridors. He looked at the wrecked fort sadly and began to bundle up the blankets and arrange the room back to the way it was. He felt helpless, but he wasn’t sure if it was best to go after Arthur right then.

Arthur had already gotten to the end of the dorms as Kiku started cleaning.  Part of his brain was thankful he had slept in his rumpled clothes, whilst the other wished he had worn shoes. He saw a small alcove in the corridor and was considering it as a possible place to sleep. His breathing still felt weird, off in a way he wasn’t sure how to correct. His brain wasn’t working all of a sudden.

He collapsed there in the corridor and couldn’t understand why his legs had given out. He saw his hands shaking, but they felt so still.

Why was it so difficult to breathe?

Was he dying?

There were muffled sounds somewhere, as though far away, but encasing him in their buzzing drone. There were a group of students. Why were they up so late? Probably going out partying when they should be studying at home. Parties were not a priority, studying was. Parties were bad, bad, bad.

The voices were closer yet still so distant. They were closer. That was probably bad? Where was the air, where was the air, who took the oxygen away?

Suddenly, like ice breaking, sudden and shattering, cold and surprising, a voice pierced the fog.

“Arthur, are you okay?” Suddenly there were too many people, and Arthur both tried to curl tighter and simultaneously look up with teary eyes to see a familiar shocked face peering down at him. There were too many people here. Suddenly Francis moved away and Arthur thought he would surely scream at the loss of someone familiar until he heard, “Merde! Give him some space, wont you? Actually go, go away! I’ll see you all tomorrow.” There were some protests before they turned into grumbles and the space became clear again. Arthur already felt his breathing collect slightly.

He tried to croak out a name, “Fr-Fran,” Suddenly he wheezed and hunched forward.

There were hands taking his and pulling them away from him, a hand coming away to cup his face and bring his eyes up as the other squeezed reassuringly. “Arthur, breathe.” The instruction wasn’t enough, of course, but the clear bluntness helped somewhat in shocking him into taking a gulping breath. “Copy me Arthur,” a soothing voice said and he felt fingers carding through his hair, gently teasing the tangles and he flinched away. Francis paused before rubbing circles into his sweaty palms instead, which Arthur could see him visibly cringe at, but he continued the gentle ministrations nevertheless. “In and out Arthur, in and out.” It was a cliché, the routine they went through, but after what felt like a lifetime, it worked.

Eventually Arthur hunched forwards as his breath evened out and he was suddenly incredibly tired. He found his head guided to Francis shoulder as circles were rubbed into his back. An underlying tone of worry was held in the teasing tone that said, “My, you are a mess, aren’t you?”

Arthur managed to croak out a quick “Fucking frog,” but they both froze a second at how many memories were suddenly stirred by that. Memories from years ago, ruined in moments by Arthur’s actions.

After an awkward silence where Francis hand had dropped, losing a sense of familiarity between them, Arthur pulled away and their eyes met. “Care to explain why I find you in the hallway with a duvet and cushion?” Arthur shrugged and Francis huffed a derisive laugh. “No reason whatsoever?”

“Nightmare,” Arthur simply said.

“Are you really that freaked out by the new school year?” Francis asked, surprised. “You only used to have nightmares when you were stressed.”

“No, it’s... I don’t think it’s that. I sometimes get them.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Francis sighed and looked him over critically before raising his eyebrows. “I’ll be honest Arthur. You’re a mess, you’re still in your clothes and you seem to have nowhere to sleep.” His eyebrows rose even higher and his eyes widened. “Wait, did you...”

“What?” Arthur asked, frowning in confusion.

Francis leaned in and said in a conspirator whisper, “Did you wet your sheets?”

“What? God no!” Arthur said, appalled. Francis put his hands in the air and leaned back innocently.

“Hey, I won’t judge Arthur.”

“I _didn’t._ ” Arthur hissed out.

“Fine,” Francis conceded, as though Arthur was the one being ridiculous. “Then why the sleeping gear?” He asked, as though he had caught Arthur out.

“Francis,” Arthur said slowly, as though he were speaking to a child, and he took satisfaction in the offense Francis seemed to take from this. “There are spare sheets in every room.” He spread his arms dramatically to solidify his point and all he received was an annoyed eye roll. “I was here because... well.” Francis waited, looking at him intently until Arthur finally blurted out, “It looks really comfortable to sleep there!” Whilst pointing at the alcove. He immediately felt like banging his head against the nearest wall.

Francis seemed to ponder this a moment before his face darkened, “Your roommate didn’t kick you out, did he?” He asked, and Arthur was surprised by the venom in his voice.

“No, no!” He exclaimed whilst waving his hands, appalled at even the thought of Kiku doing such a thing. The boy was too kind for that.

“Did you freak out after having the nightmare?”

“No!” Arthur protested again before, “Well, yes, but I had a good plan.”

“To sleep in the hallway?”

“Yes.”

There was a beat before Francis extended his hand towards him. “You can stay in my room,” he said.

“I don’t really want to be with people right now Francis.”

“Then stay in my room alone. I have a friend whose roommate is at their girlfriends tonight, I’ll stay with him.” Arthur took the hand hesitantly and together they walked to Francis’ room. Francis opened the door for him and pressed the key into his palm. “Arthur, I trust you but... Are you sure it’s good for you to be alone right now?”

“I need to be Francis.” Arthur looked into his eyes and all of a sudden felt a huge wave of gratitude towards Francis. “Thank you,” He said with as much sincerity as he could convey, and Francis offered him a small smile.

“If there’s anything I can do?” He obviously wanted to stay longer, but at Arthur’s small shake of the head with an apologetic smile he took his queue and left.

Arthur saw Francis briefly the next morning, but they didn’t say much past awkward pleasantries. Though after Arthur left he felt in his core that Francis had had something important to say. By the time he got to his room Kiku had already left and he felt a keen sense of guilt for the way he left last night. There was a small note waiting for him on a pristine table, and Arthur realised that Kiku had cleaned the entire room. There was no sight of the fort remaining.

The note read: _‘Arthur, I’m sorry if I did anything wrong. Can we talk?’_

He crumpled it and stuffed it into his pocket.

The first day ironically didn’t feel so bad, after the previous night and the pressure of going back to his room, it was almost easy. He completed his introductory course, then went to see the lecture rooms, and then attended his first actual lecture which he ended up being unable to concentrate on. This was why he shouldn’t have friends. It distracted him from learning. Friends were bad.

But then why did Kiku make him feel so happy?

He thought sharing a room with someone would be a lot harder than this. Sharing a confined space and such a big aspect of living. He was sure that with anyone else it would have been insufferable, but Kiku made it easy. He had never had a friendship that he found truly easy before. A companionship where silence was welcome and distractions were so much more than just distractions. With a jolt he realised that he had gotten attached in the last few days. Completely and irrevocably attached.

But what if Kiku didn’t treat him the same after this? What if he said something wrong or he messed something up? He would lose the closest thing he had to a friend in close to two years.

This ended in Arthur doing the one thing Arthur did best when faced with a problem. Avoid the issue.

In his break he went to the far corners of the library, making sure to keep a look out in case Kiku came in. At his free hours he decided to take some walks to ‘get used to the area’ even though he knew he was really kidding himself. It was when he was coming back to the Uni campus when he spotted someone he hadn’t necessarily been avoiding, but certainly hadn’t wanted to talk to again anytime soon.  Unfortunately for him, Francis seemed able to identify him immediately, and giving a suave wave to his friends sauntered over as though effortlessly natural and friendly to the person he had had to sacrifice his room to the previous evening. He stopped before Arthur and cocked a hip, a well manicured hand placed daintily on the curve.

“Your little roommate is looking for you,” He said with a knowing look on his face.

“Oh, thanks for telling me,” Arthur mumbled, studiously avoiding eye contact and shuffling his feet. Francis was straight backed and poised with flair like the sun, whilst Arthur felt himself a hunched and flighty shadow cast in Francis’ wake, only now in sight that it has its better to make it visible.

“You’ve been avoiding him,” Francis said pointedly.

“No I haven’t,” Arthur said, like a liar.

Francis gave a put upon sigh and drafted an arm over Arthur’s shoulders, leading him over to a wall. They sat and gazed over the school, and when Francis offered him half a sandwich Arthur realised he hadn’t eaten. He nimbly took it and suppressed a smile when he realised it was ham and cheese in a _baguette._ He just about stopped himself from saying anything and stuttering out his thanks.

“Tell me about it,” Francis started like a wannabe therapist, doing a bad job at disguising how he was side-eyeing him. Arthur was silent so Francis pressed on, “You’re embarrassed or something, right? Cause of the nightmare?”

“Yeah... I woke him up and he had to wake me.” Arthur hunched even further into himself. “He probably thinks...” Arthur trailed off. He didn’t truly think Kiku would think badly of him over this, and yet for some reason he had an innate terror of it.

Francis was looking at him like he was insane. “What? Think you’re odd? Arthur dear, he’s probably caught on by now. He’s a smart lad to come here from that sort of background.” There was something in that sentence to make Arthur perk up with interest. The way Francis said ‘ _that sort_ ’ would suggest the act of sucking on a lemon a pleasurable morning experience in comparison.

“What sort of background do you mean?” He asked and Francis scrunched up his nose.

“Arthur, he’s _poor_.” He spat, tone filled with condemnation.

Arthur had truthfully already come to a similar conclusion, but Francis reaction made him laugh. “You are such a posh snob, Francis!” He exclaimed incredulously, smiling at him in exasperation. “Most people at this damn school wouldn’t care about how someone got in, you’re just... you about it.”

Francis made a low humming noise in the back of its throat that could have verbalised a whole sentence itself. “Back on subject, Arthur. Kiku wants to talk to you. You live with him. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Suddenly Francis eyes sharpened and Arthur realised something, and a cold feeling of dread washed over him. He knew that face.

A singsong tone confirmed his fears. “I know something you don’t know,” The voice lilted, drawing out the last word. He kicked his legs gleefully like that of a child. Arthur was about to protest about his right to know when he felt a finger pressed coyly to his lips and Francis annoying self satisfied smirk grace his lips. “Don’t worry Arthur, my dear. I will tell you.” He leaned in close, breath ghosting Arthur’s ear and he whispers in a dramatic tone, as a producer would announce the next coming act. The words uttered were that which filled Arthur with an inexplicable horror.

“He’s requesting a room change.”

 

Of three things Arthur was sure when he talked to Francis:

One: He would get through University with good grades.

Two: This yearning in his chest was not heartbreak.

Three: He may have lost a friend called Kiku Honda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It started fluffy... how did it come to this?


End file.
